Friday, October 31, 2008
Hey Guys, I’m still here
Today is a beautiful day for me, I truly hope those you whom are reading this are having a good day as well. I want to give some love to some of my friends at my old job, We are going to hook up at Johnny Rockets (One of my Faves) this weekend, I can’t wait >_<
Count down to Obama Time, I am ready to get my vote on. If I were able I would be out there putting in much work for Obama. I am just sick of John McCain and his stupid running mate. John McCain is so old and stupid, Now his brainless running mate says she’s getting ready for 2012.
On another note, I think I am going to sell the Condo I use to live in, to many bad memories there, I’m ready to move forward. It’s a new day and a new and improved Kawana.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Hey guys, It’s the Kayster. >_<
Today is a good day, your gurl is the opposite of Amy Winehouse, I’m down for going to rehab lol. Things are getting better, I think I’m starting to look younger, I’m not bragging either or anything like that. It’s weird, maybe it’s because I lost weight and I’m taking all of these vitamins. My ex-dude came by to visit me and he was looking through my aunt Olsey’s camera and saw a picture of me and he thought I was my 19 year old cousin. I guess it’s kind of like a side benefit of my condition, I’m being forced to have a good diet and have also been stripped of all job related stress and such.
You know, I’ve been thinking. Most people look at me now and I think they project their own fears about my condition on me. Like, they are trying to comprehend what I am experiencing, but it’s like you can’t comprehend what I’m going through. I’m not doing great but I’m not in Hell either, I guess this statement is for those who want to visit with me. If you decide to come and see me know that I understand everything you say and I am not someone different, I am still Kawana. I laugh all the time, I make the best of my situation, I feel blessed. So when you come and see me, leave that negative vibe at the door, bring me positive energy and I’ll be happy to see you.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Hello Guys I am still here >_<
Your Gurl Kay Kay is still rolling along, I’m getting better everyday, I’m fighting the good fight. I would like to apologize for my blogging absence. I have my up days and down days, it’s all about attitude, I’m really trying to stay positive.
I am still rehabbing everyday (except weekends), I’m getting stronger, it looks like I might be ready to practice on a walker soon, I can almost stand up unassisted and please believe me it’s a challenge. I guess my big hang up has been fear, I’m a little of afraid of falling over and not being able to break my fall, ya know.
On a different note, I am a serious Clemson fan and I am very upset that we lost to Maryland. I don’t know what’s going on with them, it’s been so long since we’ve been good, I’m still a die hard fan GO CLEMSON!
My Aunt Olsey always tries to get me to talk, I don’t really like to talk much. It is really difficult to get these words out, it takes a great effort just to whisper. Blogging fam, when you talk you take for granted all of the various muscles involved in achieving that end. I’m still getting those abilities back. I can say many words, I just choose not to speak, there is a certain type of power in being silent. Olsey was sweating me so hard the other day that I said her name just to get her off my back, I think they she is starting to realize I can use more words than I let on.
I am going to make a strange observation about my existence. There is a kind of serenity in the way I live, I use to be such a busy person, I was always on the go, I always had something to do, I was always worrying, I was always a leader. Now I don’t have much to worry about, save getting back on my feet and becoming independent. Life is really simple for me now, perhaps that is the major lesson I have learned from my experience. It’s like now I know who my true friends are, I know my family members truly have my back, Everything has been distilled so to speak.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Hey Guys! I am Still here don't trip >_<
Excuse me but FUCK these doctors and what not, your gurl is gonna be back on her feet in a minute. I am feeling really great these days, I know I haven't blogged in a minute, but everything is good.
The pic I above is a old pic, I'll say it's from around 2000 or 2001, It's me and my Ex-Dude (The one that made my video). Anyways He came to see me about a year ago when I was still living at the Adult care facility, I hadn't seen him for at least 5 years before that. Needless to say I wasn't really happy to see him, cause of tha way we broke up, but we kind of cool now. He was all emotional, but it was understandable. I also put up this pic because I thought I looked really cute hehe. Oh and I'ts not like were getting back together or anything like that.
I got my period back a few weeks ago, can you believe that? The doctors of course told me I would never have another one. As a matter of fact the very same doctors told my family I had ZERO chance of surviving. I guess it's good policy for doctors to give folks bleak outcome, what do you think?
This brain injury stuff is crazy, it's like one day I can't do something then the next day I can, like magic almost.
So blog fam, I'm okay over here, I still going to Rehab, I'm working hard. I'm able to say new words everyday, I know that sounds crazy, but It is what is happening. I want everyone to pray for me, I feel like the prayers are reaching me and helping me, so keep doing it;-)
Monday, August 4, 2008
I love Jack In The Box
Excuse Me, I am still here lol. Yes blog fam, friends and family I am still here. Please forgive your gurl for not posting for over a month, but hey, stuff happens. Feel free to wish me a Happy belated B-Day, I turned 33 on July 21 ;-)
So let me tell you what happened to the Kayster, As you all know, I have been doing the rehab thing, needless to say, was very difficult. I started out on an out patient level, then I was fortunate enough to go to a Hospital in Fullerton and be there 24-7 for a few weeks, and well that was kind of rough.
I just don’t like some of those Nurses out there, what can I say, I feel like this, if you don’t like your job, get in a different line of work, you know? I thought I was doing better with the rehab on an out patient level, I think I prefer that, I like going home at the end of the day and being around family. After being at the hospital for a few days I discovered that my Physician wanted to run some tests on me to determine if I would be able to benefit from more aggressive rehabilitation, specifically aimed at helping me walk again. I also discovered during my stay that I have a condition that effects my ability to speak called Apraxia, It is the inability form words with the muscles in your throat, no doubt a very frustrating situation. Now at the end of my stay in the Hospital my Physician informed my family that I also have a condition known as Heterotopic Ossification, I know that is a complicated looking set of words, but those are 20 dollar words for excessive bone growth. What is happening is my hip joints are actually fusing together, and so are several other joints. This is something that can happen to anyone suffering from a severe stroke or any other severe brain injury. I was wondering why I had so much pain when I tried to move.
Anyways, they hope to control this bone growth with medication, then as soon as it stops I can get an operation and get this rehab going full tilt. I got to tell you I am so happy for the support of my family and friends.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Hey Guys, Your Gurl Kay Kay is still here, I'm still doing me, I promise I will be back. I will tell you flat out I had a good weekend my Laker WON! Oh and I feel like they can do it again tonite and force that game seven, I hate Boston ;-) Well I don't really hate them, But I don't want them to win hehehe. Anyways, I have a good weekend, I gotta tell you, I broke down and let my Ex-dude take me to get somthing to eat on Sunday, I made him take to my favorite spot in tha whole world, Lucille's, Yes anyone who really knows me knows I love their Bar-B-Que Ribs. I ordered a Full Stack and did my best to polish them off, which I couldn't do ;-) I do have tha left overs. If you have never tried this resturant, you are tripping. I am from the South and I know and respect good Bar-B-Que, At first I didn't believe that a commercial resturant could do it like this, but hey, they do it well. So we watched tha Game and had good ribs.
Doesn't that plate look good? I know it does, I also like tha way that they serve the drinks in jars, you must love that. Anyways I had a nice time, I like getting out the house and doing what I can. I always appreciate riding around just checking out the scene. Now I want to make it perfectly clear, my ex-dude took me out to eat, but it was not a date, I repeat it was not a date. But it was cool ;-)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Hey Guys, I hope everyone out there is having a really nice day, it is really beautiful outside right now. Well guys, your gurl finally stood up on her own, it was hard and it's been a minute since I did that without assistance, needless to say I very happy. Can you imagine being happy about a little thing like standing up? All of the little things people take for granted are very difficult to relearn. These things are called ADL's or Activities of Daily Living, things like eating with a fork, cutting food with a knife, using a remote control, putting on clothing, using the restroom etc.
I am being evaluated by a speech therapist so I can get my beloved conversation skills back, It's like I am just trainning on an all around level, it's wild.
On a different note, my Ex-dude came to see me again this past weekend which was cool, I hadn't seen him in a minute, he was all extra happy, I guess he thought I was gonna treat him bad lol. He brought me bootleg versions of "Street Kings & 21", you know I wanted "Sex in the City" he said he would it week, if he doesn't im a be mad lol just kidding. My aunt olsey cooked a big dinner, T-Bone steaks, Mashed Potatoes, Mixed Veggies and Strawberry Shortcake, it was very nice. The next time my Ex-dude comes by I might have him take me to the beach, we'll see ;-) I think quite a few people who come here and read my blog might actually know who my Ex-Dude is, he has a very differnt blog, but I'm not going to say who he is, not just yet ;-)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Hey Guys ;-) I know, I know I haven’t posted anything in a long, long time. What can I say really, but, forgive me. I am still here and I am still trying to make it. I can say one thing for sure, as a Bonafied hardcore Laker fan I am very happy right now. I want you guys to know I have always had faith in my team and I’ve always supported them. I’m going to have my Aunt Olsey rock the Laker flags on her car even if she doesn’t want to ;-)
Well, let me bring my blog fam bam up to date on my recent activities. The words of the day are Cerebral Lysine, that is what I am taking now to get some of my brain function back; I’ve been taking it for a month or so now. We’ll have to wait and see if it’s working, I myself, I’m just trying to stay positive and work hard to re-learn what I use to do with ease (like curse folks out ;-) just kidding). I’m about to really get going with my rehabilitation, I just got involved with really good facility; I’m going to be attending that facility on an out-patient level. So I’ll be going everyday, working out so to speak, getting these muscles back active. I’m a little nervous about the pain but, I can hack it.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I am not 30 anymore, I'll be 33 this year, I just wanted you guys to see how cute I was as a little gurl. Hey Guys! I'ts your Gurl Kay Kay getting my blog on once again, I hope everyone out there is having a simply wonderful day. Once agin I want to thank everyone who leaves me comments and sends me all of those nice E-Mails, I truely appreciate it all. Please forgive your gurl over here if I don't respond quickly, you know I have my good days and my bad days.
I have been thinking about my life and what I have been through. I would like to admit somthing people who know me understand about me, I kinda have some anger management issues, ya know. I can achievie very high levels of anger with ease, I truely hope this is not what brought on my condition, but it is possible. Like I said in earlier posts, they don't know why I had that stroke. Back in tha days one of my Ex-Boyfriends use to tell me had Anger Management Issues, he told me that after he observed me in the throws of road rage, he use to try to get me to smoke purple (weed) with him, I did it a couple of times but I ended up getting mad at him for some reason or another and I stoppeed LOL, maybe I should have keep going, that sure keeps you calm. Can strong emotions cause strokes? I think so.
Now I was tagged by a fellow blogger and in tha spirit of good blogging these are my "10 Reasons for Blogging":
1. If I hadn't had a Stroke, I don't know if I would had taken up Blogging. This is somthing that was suggested by my Ex-Dude and put in motion by my Aunt Olsey. They figured this was a good way to let the world know what was going on with me, and also a way to get some help and support.
2. Now since I have been blogging I have encountered so many nice people with good ideas, I have discovered that it's truely addictive.
3. I have also found that blogging gives my friends and family a different type of access to me. Truth be told, I don't like a tremendous amount of visitors inmy face all the time, however through this blog I can always have company, in a way.
4. It's strange, through this medium I can really show the world excatly how I use to be, especially with Youtube.
5. Even though I am seriously limited in the things I can do, Blogging is Doable.
6. I am able to express certain thoughts here that maybe I wouldn't have been able to communicate otherwise.
7. I also feel like through Blogging I can take everyone on my journey to recovery with me, you can experience my progress and failures right along with me almost in real time.
8. Perhaps me being a Stroke Survivor/Blogger will inspire others to be more healthy and aware of themselves physically. So much so that if you start having certain physical warning signs of an impending Stroke or Heart Attack YOU won't end up like ME, and YOU can make to the Hospital and get the appropriate treatments.
9. Beacuse it's just straight out Fun.
10. Oh and beacuse "Excuse me: I'm still Here" LMAO
I was tagged by a person whom gives me much inspriation Mr. Mel Avila Alarilla, Make sure you check out his Blog ASAP *smile*
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
This looks scary, but they say they just might save me.
What you are looking at is a pic of a Stem Cell, this ugly thing is supposed to save my life, what do you think? Hey guys your gurl Kay Kay is still here scraping with myself everyday, little by little getting my life back. Happy April Fools Day, I'm happy to be here, I'm happy to experience this day.
I want to give a shout out to my whole blog fam & the good people from San Clemente High School that remember me ;-) As I have told you all previously, my options are kind of limited. The most promising treatment available to me is Stem Cells. I feel like I am in tha future or somthing, the last time I read about this stuff it was all theory and unproven. Well I guess it actually works to a degree and we shall soon see. I imagine my experience will be me receiving injections of the stem cells and then at some magic moment in the future, things will start working again, I hope.
So wish your gurl luck on this adventure I'm about to undertake, pray for me out there!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Hey Guys, Your Gurl Kay Kay is still here, I'm still fighting, Oh and I'm still gonna come back. Well first of all, I would like to apologize for not posting sooner, you know some days I got it and some days I don't. Be that as it may, I still come through to see if I have any new comments ;-) AND on that note I would like to say "Thank You" to all of you who did come and give me a shout out, your words and postive vibes go a long way.
I know you are probably tripping off the pic I posted today. Please believe there is a story behind that ;-) The other night me and my aunt Olsey were watching "Baby Boy" on DVD and my aunt said that I acted just like Taraji P. Henson in this film. You know at first I was kind a mad, then I thought about it, then we both fell out laughing. I guess it was kind a true, to a degree, I mean you know it's not like Im someones Babymama, But I am known for being a bit volitile, if I get disrespected =P
Oh, and Mr. Raw Dog Buffalo you can send me copies of all of your books, send me and E-Mail to KawanaOliver@Gmail.Com and I'll tell you where to send them =P *grin*
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Hey Guys, I just had to post this pic. This is Capo Beach, not far from my Aunt Olsey's place (Where I reside for the time being). I'd like to send some love out to my blogging fam and all of my friends whom aren't bloggers who come here to see how I'm doing.
I'm still fighting guys, My Aunt Olsey got me tapes to listen to that help me with my speech problems, it's tough but I won't quit. Oh yeah, I check my blog almost everyday, so if you come by here to check on me, you'd better leave me a comment! O_o
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hey Guys, I'm still here ya know. I hope everyone is enjoying this good weather we are having, I sure am. Thats why I posted a pic of a nice place to visit and have lunch, The Belmont Pier in Long Beach California, you should check it out.
Well it's been a minute since I posted somthing meaninful, I hope I didn't depress anyone with my last post, I was meant for those of you out there who might have been feeling down, Valentine's Day does that to some folks. Now, moving foreward, I would like to announce somechanges in my treatments. My Dotor doesn't want me to do the oxygen chamber thing (I dont't want to do it either), he believes it might be dangerous for me since I am still taking a blood thinner called Coumadin. The reason I am taking Coumadin is because they still haven't figured out why I had that stroke, which is kind of scary. The treatments available to me now include Stem Cells and some type of Vitamin drink that stimulates brain cells, Oh and lets not forget good ole working out which I imagine will be super painful arrrhh, oh well.
I'm getting better, I can move my body a little more now, I can even stand up for a while (with a little help from Olsey and my Grandmother), My right side hurts so bad when I try to move that I know I can move, I just need to manage that pain. so while I'm getting better, I'm hanging out watching "American Idol & Next Top Model" in my aunts living room.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Me and My cousin Tima
Hey guys, Well today is Valentine's Day, A day for Love & Happiness indeed. Well for me this is quite the ominous anniversary, one year ago I had my stroke which changed my life forever. A year ago my family and friends did not know if I was going to survive through the night.
The days leading up to my stroke I had been experiencing severe headaches, not out the ordinary because I always had headaches from time to time, however these headaches were causing me to vomit. I could keep any food down. Then on Valentine's morning a year ago today, I woke up in the morning, went to the bathroom to get ready for work and I passed out. By the time my Fiance' found me I was dead, I had no pulse and I was not breathing. So I am very fortunate that I am still here. I was told that I had three brain surgeries and I was in a coma for months.
I am a 32 year old African American Professional Woman, I didn't do drugs, I don't smoke and I don't drink. I am a God fearing Christian Woman, I tried to do everything right, I worked hard and I'll admit I'm not perfect. Yet and I still suffered a severe stroke that took almost everything away from me, I cannot understand why this happened to me, but it did. Let this be a cautionary tale for anyone reading my words, enjoy every moment of your life, I've learned life is extremely fragile and precious. On this Valentines Day just be happy, If your lover doesn't meet your gift expectations don't let it get you down, just be happy you have one, you know ;-)
This is your gurl Kay Kay yall saying Happy Valentines Day, Don't be scared to give me a shout out!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Hey Guys, This is my Grandmother, I love her soooo much. The other night she had me laughing hard talking about Britney Spears, she said "They need to leave her in that hospital and not let her out". My Grandmother is way to real, I thank God for her. My Ex-Dude came to visit me the other day which I wasn't really feeling, then when he was about to leave my Grandmother told him to "Give her a little kiss on the forehead" I looked at her like "What", then I rolled my eyes at him like "I wish you would" he knew the business. ;-)
You know last X-Mass I cooked dinner for my whole family, My culinary skills were the bomb. I sent for my Grandmother and I suprised her by showing her a room I fixed up for her at my Condo, then I tried to talk her into staying with me, she declined, the rest of my family needed her in South Carolina. Fast Foreward to the present, she came back out here to live with me and help me get back on my feet, isn't that ironic? I thought I would be taking care of her, but now she's taking care of me, Again.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
This painting reminds me of Family, Nothing is more important than Family. I have always been about that throughout my life and over the course of the last year I wouldn't have survived without the Love of My Family.
I'm getting some of these words back guys, I guess I'm kind a like a parrot these days. I can hear a familiar word, then I practice repeating it. The type of Aphasia I have is called Broca's Aphasia, I understand the words people say to me but it's very difficult to say certain words. I know this all sounds very strange, however the brain works in strange ways. They say my brain is healing itself, even though I can't feel it, it's what you call Brain Plasticity. So as I go through this healing process, I go to sleep at night not knowing how to do somthing, Only to wake up the next day and I can magically do it, it's weird.
I want to give a Big Shout Out to all of my Gurls at OCDE, I love you guys.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Hey Guys, Your gurl Kay Kay is still here, I hope everyone out there is doing well :-) I haven't blogged in a minute, but I do come through and read my comments, and I must say my comments are truely inspirational. Well guys what can I say, Im fighting everyday to get my life back, everyday things get a little better.
My aunt has got me going to see the Stroke Doctor, this guy is incredible, and expensive. One day at his facility is about $250.00, no joke. However, his facility features the latest and cutting edge treatments for brain injuries available. The first time I visited his facility they placed me in a Hyperbaric Oxygen chamber in order to breathe 100% oxygen, It was okay at first, then it freaked me out. After one treatment in that chamber my family said they noticed a difference in my awareness level. I didn't notice anything except that chamber was hot and claustrophobic. The next treatment they want to try on me is Stem Cells, can you believe that? They way they explained it to me was that they inject the stem cells near the area of Brain Damage and the Stem Cells automatically migrate to the area thats damaged and forms new connections. For the life of me I cannot undersrtand how they do that and deeper still I cannot understand why all of that insurance I have been paying for for years doesn't cover this. America is a crazy place.
Oh well, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on, somthing is gonna work out, I can feel it.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Me & My Gurls from The Orange County Department of Education
When I worked there I was Director of Family Services, you can Google my name, they still have me listed as an employee ;-) I'll be Back!
Hey Guys, I hope everyone out there is having a good day and a Happy New Year :-) Once again I want to say thanks to all of my new blogging fam, the comments are all so supportive, you guys make me feel good I decided to do this blog thing. Right before X-Mass my Aunt broke me out of the Adult Care facility (Nursing Home) and I am happy to announce that I will finally be returning to my Condo, yes I am very happy about that. Truth be told, Living in that environment was not the business, That was a place of decline, not incline and I am on the INCLINE.
People see me now and they are shocked, When I was admitted to the hospital after I passed out on Valentine's morning 2007, My family was told I had ZERO chance of survival. I was placed in an induced Coma for almost 2 months to keep my brain from swelling and to reduce the risk of further Brain Damage and a condition called Vasospasm. Near the end of the 2nd month in that Coma I opened my eyes and began to go through every stage of consciousness, from Coma to Vegitative State to Minimally Conscious to the state I am in now. For my family this process has been long and scary, for me It all happened in a split second, I still can't believe almost a year has passed.
So here I am, At war with myself trying to regain total control of my body, My Aunt moved my arm the other day, I hurt so bad I slipped and called her a Bitch, I was a spontaneous type response, she laughed at me and said "What did you call me?", remember I have difficulty speaking LOL. In a few days I will be at my own house, my Grandmother and Uncle moved out here from South Carolina to help me get back on my feet, SO pray for me guys.
Now since I'm new to this being tagged thing, I was slow to respond. I was tagged by Kimpossible, this is a nod to her. Warning my 8 weird things may not be so weird.
1. I once told Mike Bibby (Of the Sacramento Kings) him and his team were "Weak" and would never beat the Lakers, this was during the Playoffs back in 2001. I saw him at the Beverly Center after a Game.
2. When I was a little girl I owned a Monkey.
3. I am a Career Woman, Yet I Love to Cook for lots of people.
4. I started point gaurd on the Girls Varsity basketball team at San Clemente High School.
5. I have appeared in many Music Videos, BET Specials, Movies and Sitcoms. As a matter of fact I actually paid my bills and lived good off of acting and being and extra. I feel like I had a serious shot at making it in Hollywood, the Weird thing about me however, I was unwilling to do all of the "extra" things you need to do to make it. I made it all the way up to the point where you needed to have sex with a few people to get that good role, I just couldn't do it. I'm glad I was attending Grad School while I was doing all of that, so when the time came I just quit ;-)
6. While I was doing my Hollywood thing me and several other gurls were hired to be servers at some big time movie producers pre-oscar party. We were painted gold from head to toe, that was crazy. when it was over I drove over to my ex-dude's house like that, he tripped out when he saw me.
7. I am from the South, I moved to Orange County from South Carolina when I was in the 9th grade. Most people when they move here from other places they are quick to convert themselves into Southern Californians. They wanna act like they were from California all along, not me though, I have always maintained my Southern Status. Even before being being from the South became Hot.
8. Even though I am not Ghetto, Even though I am a very professional and progressive woman, I had to put hands on my fomer fiance's babymama. Yes, while at a parade in Orange County this female threw water in my face, I had done nothing to her. I beat her until serveral people restrained me, I am not proud of that.
I hope those 8 things were good Kim ;-)
I want people out there to know this about me, I am not here to beg for help, If you can help do what you can. I guess my plight sheds light on the realities of health care and insurance, because I have insurance. The problem is that I need very aggresive therapy that for some reason is not covered by insurance, isn't that strange?